Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Vegetable Love


Growing up in a townhouse, I never really tended anything. My mom has orchids, but I hardly feel they count. Orchids are like those small, overbred dogs that were so in about four years ago: tempermental, requiring a lot of attention, made only for show, and just large enough to be inconvenient.

But now, in beautiful Kalihi Valley, I have a garden. And I only grow stuff you can eat (you know, because of these tough, economic times). There's something mysterious and humbling about planting seeds and watching them grow into food. All I do is pull the weeds and harvest.

And you learn how plants actually look. I didn't think I was overly sheltered (I mean, we did have cable growing up), but until this garden I didn't know, say, how a broccoli plant looked (kinda like a lettuce throwing up a broccoli, nothing big), or how a leek developed (you gotta bury the stem as it thickens; that's what makes it white and so tender and delicious in soup). But the coolest one thus far is asparagus.

An asparagus seedling looks like a bit of lacy fern. It grows into a bush and, if untended, can become a fair-sized tree. I think asparagus is related to bamboo. Asparagus sends down a deep root system before it makes stuff you can eat. This can take three years. On the upside, an asparagus plant can last 15-20 years.

So ladies, forget roses. If a man gives you an asparagus seedling, you know he's in it for the long haul.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Words from a Recessionista

Current overused cliche: "In these tough economic times..."

You'll hear it everywhere: in political speeches, as an excuse for layoffs and foreclosures, on PSAs. Does it play out at, say, McDonald's? "In these tough economic times, I've decided to not supersize that Number 4."
At family gatherings? "In these tough economic times, it has been determined that we're going to have to downsize this family. Uncle Bob, that means you can come to parties, but you can't eat anything or watch tv. Aunty Linda, you're out."
With relationships? "In these tough economic times, Robert, I can't afford to spend any more energy watching WWE with your loser friends."
I'm going to start using it anytime someone is going to get shafted.

I've also decided to do my part to cut back by not looking up anything myself anymore. I will exist on hearsay, rumor, and speculation. And blogs. Second-hand information: the new reuse and recycle.